


So I'm Sitting There

by ColdSoup



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bang Chan/SpongeBob Mac and Cheese, But also he's a lil shit, Can't read unless ur 18 cuz Chan says fuck, Chan wants to die, Concerned gay dads Chan & Woojin, Crack, Felix is a Memelord, Fluff, Horror, Psychological Horror, Russian Cat Memes, Soft Lee Felix, Vines, save chan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-06-23 14:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15608253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdSoup/pseuds/ColdSoup
Summary: Memelord Felix teaches the other members vines. Chan wants death.





	1. So I'm Sitting There

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, everything is spelt right, I wrote this in like five minutes
> 
> I promise this is 124% worse than my actual writing
> 
> Twitter: coldersoup (previously Artificialsalt)

Chan sits alone in his shared room, enjoying some peace and quiet. Then he hears it across the dorm for the nth time the day. It's Felix.  
  
"What's the scoop!"     
  
Chan swears it's scarier than a haunted house at this point. Felix's giggles as he tries to encourage the other members to finish the quote, it rings through the dorm. Chan wants to cry. The other members don't speak English, they don't understand. Someone help him.  
  
"Penis!"  
  
It's a chorus of voices. He is able to pick out Changbin and Woojin. They don't know what they're saying. Chan bangs his head against the wall, it'll be over soon. But not soon enough.  
  
"Hmm, okay, good!" Felix praises, "So, I'm sitting there—"  
  
"Barbecue sauce on my titties!" Jisung finishes.  
  
It's heavily accented he doesn't know it well enough it. Chan feels as if he can save Jisung from this terrible fate, he just hopes it isn't too late. He starts to move towards the living room but stops, it's Jisung again.  
  
"Felix, what about 'Saw you hanging out with Caitlin yesterday!'"  
  
"R-Rebecca, it's not what you think!" Felix fake stutters.  
  
"I won't hesitate, bitch!" Jisung giggles followed by a fake gunshot sound.  
  
Chan can only assume Jisung shot Felix with a finger gun as there is a loud thud sounding through the dorm. It is too late. Chan goes back to his bed. He cannot save them now. Covering himself up with the covers, he tries to sleep.  
  
  
  
Chan tries to prepare a small cup of microwavable Mac and Cheese for himself. He wasn't really hungry but not entirely opposed to eating so he decided to go with that as a snack.  Standing in front of the microwave, he watching it spin around and around.  
  
Suddenly, he's very aware of his own existence. Here he is, existing, watching a cup of Microwavable Mac and Cheese spin around in the dorm kitchen. He cannot stop existing during this moment. This is his life, this is who he is, and he realizes how small he really is in the world.  
  
The microwave beeps.  
  
Chan is pulled out of his Mac and Cheese trance. He opens the microwave to pull out the tiny plastic cup of SpongeBob Mac and Cheese. It's hot. He drops the cup on the floor. Not even a second later Minho slides into the kitchen. Chan's heart drops, he wants to yell at him to stop but it's too late.  
  
"This bitch empty!"  
  
Somewhere from the other side of the dorm, it's Hyunjin.  
  
"Yeet!"  
  
Chan just stares in disbelief. Glancing back and forth between the spilt cup of his precious SpongeBob Mac and Cheese and Minho who has the biggest smile across his face. Chan is losing his will to live.  
  
  
  
      
They're on their way to a concert, nothing can go wrong. Chan stares out the window watching the city pass, it's calm and peaceful for once. Things are okay.  
  
Chan is naïve.  
  
Chan watches a road work sign pass. He holds his breath, hopefully, no one noticed it.  
  
"Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!"  
  
The light dies from Chan's eyes as he looks sadly towards Seungmin. Seungmin smiles and high fives Minho. Minho was recording it. Chan wants to cry but he needs to stay strong. He cannot fall to Felix.  
  
He continues to stare out the window. It'll be over soon, he lies to himself. The members are laughing and high fiving. Chan swears Felix dabs.  
  
One day Chan will find his will to live.  
  
  
  
Chan and Felix sit on the couch. The TV plays. Nothing can go wrong this time. Chan is sure of that. What vine involves a TV?  
  
Chan is wrong.  
  
You can quote vines anywhere, any time. Does not matter the content of the situation. Jeongin sprints into the living room. He has a beet on a paper plate. When did they buy either of those things?  
  
"Anything for you Beyonce!" Jeongin yells.  
  
Chan looks lost and emotionally dead. Felix laughs. It echoes through the dorm. Chan swears it can summon the other members or start a chain of vine quotes. He hates that laugh.  
  
Jeongin stops running, looking at the scene before him. It's as if he's calculating something. Light dies from Chan's eyes again, his heart stops beating. He can feel death near.  
  
"Two bros chillin' in a hot tub five feet apart cuz they're not gay!"    
  
Jeongin looks a Felix for approval. Felix nods. This is hell. Chan must face the meme god alone.  
  
  
  
"Felix." Chan stares the boy down in the mirror.  
  
They are getting makeup done for their live performance. Felix cocks his head to the side with a "hmm?" and the makeup artist fusses over him, straightening him out so she can work.  
  
"No more vines," Chan glares him down in the mirror.  
  
Felix pouts. Chan realizes his mistake. It was quiet. He started something. He wants to cry.  
  
"Adam!" Felix whines.  
  
Chan grips the arms of the chair tightly. He's tense and ready to fight at this point. Felix cackles. His laugh summons the other members who pipe in more vines.  
  
Chan cannot put an end to this. He accepts hell.


	2. It's an avocado... thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to that person who subscribed to this. idk why u did but i hope u end up reading this too.
> 
> @ whoever u r: i love u hope ur life is great

Chan had been staring at the wall for god knows how long now. The laughs were inescapable, they were everywhere. Chan wasn't sure how much longer he could take it. Tears filled his eyes as he heard Woojin repeat the same phrase once more.  
  
"Happy crimus, it's crismun, Merry crisis, Merry Chrysler."  
  
It was August.  
  
But the quote was followed by giggles of the other members. Felix praised Woojin, Woojin repeated the vine again. When would it ever get old?   
  
"Merry Chrysler," Woojin whispers to Chan.  
  
He had been quietly trying to make his way past the herd of boys and to the bathroom but failed. Chan wanted to scream. But he didn't. He just nodded and continued towards the bathroom.   
  
One day he'll be free from this hell.  
  
  
  
The group was preparing to leave. Chan learned his lesson last time. He would not speak. No vines would be quoted.   
  
He should've learned. Vines can be quoted anywhere anytime no matter the situation.   
  
Changbin chuckled to himself while tying his shoes. Felix was a god sent to these boys, giving them memes they'd never heard of, bestowing upon the gift of dabbing. Changbin would use such things wisely like he was about to do.  
  
"Hi, my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well, I'm a point guard, I got shoe game," Changbin quoted.  
  
Chan walked out the door then and there. From outside he could still hear the laughter. He was failing to protect these boys from the dangerous blackhole that the internet was. Felix was satan. He couldn't be stopped. He only spread chaos.  
  
  
  
On the way to the store to pick up a few things for dinner, the boys stopped at a McDonald's. Chan ordered just a drink, scared to repeat the events with his beloved Mac and Cheese. He witnessed Jisung order chicken nuggets. This was not going to end well.  
  
"Yo how much money do you have?" Felix asked the boy after he ordered.  
  
"69¢," Jisung replied with a laugh.  
  
"You know what that means?"  
  
"I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets," Jisung faked sobbed dramatically.  
  
The smile that spread across Jisung's face afterwards would've been cute in just about any other situation. Chan left his group to walk into the kids' playroom. It was empty. He screamed.   
  
He had to return. He was the leader, he couldn't just walk out on them. The sight that was before him almost made him walk back into the playroom.  
  
Minho was ordering. Chan didn't need to see his face, he could feel the smirk.  
  
"Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?" he asked.  
  
The worker looked confused at the boy's English. Minho laughed along with Felix, who praised the boy. Why did Felix have to fuel such behaviour? Minho shook his head, informing the worker he was just fooling around and told them his actual order.  
  
While waiting for the rest of the members Minho had already prepared his next quote. Jisung was shoving his chicken nuggets in his mouth.   
  
"Nate, how are those chicken strips?" Minho asked Jisung.  
  
"FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS!" Jisung yelled through a mouthful, gladly in English so other people had no idea what he said, "FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS!"  
  
Chan needed to will to live quick.  
  
  
  
Woojin picked up an avocado, handing it too Seungmin. He looked confused but accepted it. Then he saw the expression across Woojin's face. Seungmin knew, a smile growing across his own face.  
  
Chan could practically sense moments like these now. He whipped around from where he had been grabbing milk. He saw both boys' expression. He dropped the milk carton, it was going to happen again.  
  
"It's an avocado... thanks..." Seungmin placed it in the cart.   
  
Milk was puddling at his shoes. Chan didn't care any longer. He was reaching his limits. Soullessly, he grabbed another milk carton putting it in the cart. The other milk left on the floor. He didn't have the patience to deal with it.  
  
  
  
"Hurricane Katrina? More like hurricane Tortilla," Hyunjin joked, picking up a packet of tortillas and showing it to Felix.  
  
Felix nodded with a smile and thumbs up. Chan was trailing behind them, his eyes dead. Why did so many vines include foods? When were they going to leave?  
  
Why were they even in this section? They didn't need this for dinner. Chan wanted to leave. The avocado Seungmin placed in the cart was staring him down, he needed to get rid of that quickly.  
  
  
  
"Dad look, it's the good kush," Jeongin beamed, showing Chan a box of cilantro.  
  
Why was he dad? Why was he calling cilantro a drug? Chan shook his head. Jeongin pouted as if waiting for him to finish the quote.  
  
Chan refused. He'd never play into Felix's games. It was a trap. A trap Chan was about to avoid. Minho came to his rescue, finishing it for him.   
  
"This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"  
  
Jeongin smiled, feeling better now that someone participated in his vine. Minho ruffed the smaller boy's hair, finding his grin adorable with his cute, little braces. Chan would've normally found he maknae endearing but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to beat Felix.  
  
  
  
With a cart full of food the boys were ready to leave. Along with money, they were leaving another thing. The last bit of Chan's will to live, the little bit of light in his eyes. They were left here, never to be found again.  
  
"Felix, I swear to god if there is some vine you can quote about self-checkouts I will strangle you," Chan hissed.       
  
Felix opened his mouth. Chan glared, he glared so hard it could've burnt holes through Felix. Felix was about to quote something and Chan was not going to let it happen. He brought a finger to Felix's lips to silence him.  
  
Felix looked disheartened, his shoulders drooped with defeat. Chan took this as a sign Felix had surrendered. Chan won. He was free. Excitement ran through him. He swore he'd never been happier.  
  
Chan was wrong. He was not free. He never would be.  
  
"Get to Del Taco! They got a new thing called Freesha—Freeshavaca do!" Felix yelled.  
  
Felix won. Chan lost. He sunk to his knees in the middle of the self-checkout. The members laughed. Chan was in pain. He could never win against such a strong force like Felix.


	3. she's a thot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last one is technically not a vine but still iconic
> 
> also dedicated to the second person to sub to this nonsense, love u too whoever u r. dw third person i will dedicate a chapter to u too

It was quiet. Before Felix taught the group about vines, Chan would've enjoyed the quiet. Now he feared it.  
  
He was tense, gripping the arms of the couch with unknown strength, knuckles white. Which member would break the silence and say something? His eyes darted around looking for something, anything, that could get turned into a vine reference.  
  
Jeongin.  
  
He was wearing a sweatshirt, Chan could feel it. Jeongin walked into the living room. Chan knew it was coming. He had a 6th sense for vines now.  
  
He peeked into the living room. The hood of the sweatshirt up and his ears sticking out, a wide smile across his face. Jeongin disappeared for a moment back behind the wall before backing out back facing Chan. He turned around and whipped.  
  
Jeongin's eyes were bright, looking for approval from Chan. Chan would not break.    
  
  
  
The group was on a walk to the park for fresh air. Chan thought it might clear the members' heads of vines and suggested they go outside. He was wrong again.  
  
Minho kicked at the ground, pouting. He went to kick the path again but there was a stick. His eyes brighten, he picked it up.  
  
"Hey, Felix!" he beamed, getting Felix's attention.  
  
Felix turned around, his head cocked to the side. He wasn't sure what was so great about a stick until Minho started whipping it around.  
  
"Don't fuck with me, I have the power of God and anime on my side!" Minho screamed loudly.  
  
It gained the other members' attention, especially Chan's who shed a few tears. One day he will be free.  
  
Wiping away his tears, Chan declared the walk was over and for Minho to get rid of the stick. He threw it as hard as he could, it whistled in the air. Chan was about to lecture him on if that was necessary but Jisung stopped him.  
  
"What the fuck, Richard?" Jisung asked.  
  
Chan banged his head against the nearest tree.     
  
  
  
Hyunjin was writing on a piece of paper. Chan didn't know what he was writing but he didn't remember a vine reference for paper so he let it slide. He shouldn't have done that. Hyunjin crumbled the paper up.  
  
Chan tensed up. Time seemed to slow down as Hyunjin through the paper at Felix. Felix caught it with a raised eyebrow, practically asking Hyunjin to quote the vine. Hyunjin smiled widely, he had been given the highest honour.  
  
"I said whoever threw that paper your mom's a hoe!" Hyunjin exclaimed.  
  
Chan left the room, weak and exhausted from this vine nonsense.   
  
  
  
The recording room. Viners weren't musicians, no way they could make a reference here. Chan took a deep breath. Free.  
  
Fuck.  
  
It's Jisung, he steps up to the microphone, a smirk across his face.  
  
"My favourite screamo band is probably big time rush," he says instead of his lines.  
  
The group laughs, except for Chan who just groans.    
  
  
  
Chan had been thinking about his beloved SpongeBob Mac and Cheese again. He never got to eat that and during their trip to the store, they had bought more. Excited, Chan headed to the kitchen but stopped in his tracks.  
  
"All the dishes are dirty," Seungmin complained.  
  
"Hold on I have an idea," Woojin replied.  
  
It was followed by some rustling around and the sound of the fridge being opened. Chan figured it had been over seven seconds. Maybe the dishes were just dirty?  
  
Chan walked into the kitchen, Woojin laying on the table, Seungmin about to pour cereal into Woojin's mouth while Felix recorded and was trying to pour milk into his mouth as well. Chan knew this would not end well, he ran into the kitchen stopping them.  
  
"Let's not," he said.  
  
The three pouted but started to put the food away, leaving Chan in peace for once. He was able to make his microwavable Mac and Cheese.   
  
  
  
Chan was peacefully watching TV, eating the small cup of SpongeBob Mac and Cheese. Well, it was peaceful... Changbin entered in from one side of the living room, a plastic green lightsaber in hand. He flung it so it expanded out and pulled down his hood.  
  
"All women are queens!" he declared.  
  
Felix entered from the other side, a lightsaber in his hand too. It was red and he swung it in a circle before flinging it out with a flick of his wrist.  
  
"If she breathes she's a THOT!" Felix yelled.  
  
Both boys started screaming, running at each other and clashing together in a sword fight. Chan wasn't even phased, calmly watching TV. He didn't feel anything anymore


	4. Hi, Welcome to Chili's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ third person to sub. Love u, but why would u do that to urself
> 
> nd @ u other bois who keep subbing, why? save ur braincells. i didnt expect to get this many people 
> 
> Warning: uploadimg from my phone so if it looks weird + spelling errors, sorry

It's been two weeks since Chan last heard a vine. He thinks it's finally over, they've run out of vines.

Lately, he's been sleeping better and waking up in better moods. At practices, he's more energetic. He's happy and free.

Chan stood in the kitchen, making SpongeBob Mac and Cheese. This time instead of small microwavable cups, he had purchased actual boxes. A treat rather. He hadn't felt so great in so long.

He adds in the cheese powder to the milk and butter, mixing it all with noodles. It looks as delicious as Mac and Cheese can be considered when the supposed SpongeBob shapes are distorted.

Felix is attracted to the kitchen, he could practically feel the waves of happiness coming from Chan. He peers over his shoulder into the bowl of Mac and Cheese. It's habit at this point, he says it without thinking.

"That's what good pussy sounds like," Felix comments.

Vines are like drugs. They're addicting, but the longer you go without them the lower your tolerance drops. Chan's tolerance is at rock bottom and the amount of drug intake is over what he can handle.

"Like you would know," Chan retorts, he can't show his obvious overdose in vine so he settles with a bad comeback.

 

Felix seemed to have accidentally created a chain reaction. Not much longer later, while Chan enjoys his beloved SpongeBob Mac and Cheese Hyunjin walks in. The boy is in just a shirt and boxers. That wasn't unusual, they were a bunch of boys living in a dorm together, they were comfortable enough to be themselves. What was unusual was what he said.

"Hi, welcome to Chili's."

Chan put down his bowl on the coffee table. He took a deep breath before looking up at Hyunjin.

"Why?" he asked.

"I dunno, just felt right..." Hyunjin replied, taking a seat next to Chan on the couch.

Chan didn't talk anymore, he was afraid to trigger another vine.

 

Chan never picked up his bowl. That was a mistake. Later, Minho picked it up and after two weeks without vines, he found a situation to finally use one.

"Yup, this is a bucket," he announced.

Chan could hear it across the dorm, followed by some giggles from the members who didn't even need to know the content, just the thought of vines could make them laugh. He put his head in his hands. Felix, why? Things were so peaceful.

Chan banged his head against the wall. One day he'd get a concussion from that. Not that he cared if the cause was relating to vines, maybe it would make him forget them or something.

 

Heading to the bathroom for a shower after dance practice, Chan opened the bathroom door. It took him a moment to fully process the sight. Seungmin sitting in the tub, fully clothed and washing himself. Felix, of course, was there recording it.

"I'm washing me and my clothes, bitch," Seungmin quoted, "I'm washing me and my clothes."

Chan closed the door, pretending to never see the sight. He took a deep breath, he can shower later.

On his way out he bumped into Jisung. He tried to stutter an apology out but was interrupted.

"Stop! I could've dropped my croissant!" Jisung exclaimed.

Chan just stared straight into the boy's eyes. He had never been so disappointed in Jisung before. There was no croissant, he just bumped slightly into the boy. Chan is losing the hope he had just gained.

 

It had been long enough for Seungmin and Felix to leave the bathroom, so Chan decided it'd be okay to take a shower. He felt worn, sticky, and gross from practice still and was willing to fight anyone who dare take the shower from him.

He stopped outside the door, hearing someone inside.

"Stop saying I look like chicken little, he's dumb and a coward and I am not a coward!"

Chan's phone pinged. Taking it out of his pocket, he looked at it. Changbin sent a message in the group chat with all the members. A video of him standing in the bathroom with a picture of a cartoon chicken taped to the mirror.

Chan didn't watch the video, he just threw the door open.

"I need a shower," he put simply.

Changbin jumped back but nodded. He left the picture taped to the mirror.

 

Chan got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He ripped the picture of the chicken off the mirror, crumbled it up and threw it into the waste bin. Sighed, he decided to head to his room to get dressed. As soon as he opened the door, Jeongin was there.

"—and I'm your freestyle dance teacher," Jeongin said before obnoxiously dancing.

"That's great, but I need to get dressed," Chan tried to smile.

Chan kicked Changbin out of their shared room, before closing the door. Chan didn't hear it, but when he disappeared into his shared room, Woojin whispered to Jeongin.

"And they were roommates," Woojin whispered.

"Oh my god, they were roommates," Jeongin replied.


	5. полосатая колбаса

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i jst idk man... this story has a plot now... i jst idk how to feel, why do i do this... ://
> 
> anyways, chans got like his own vers of vines which r actually russian cat memes because yes
> 
> Dedicated to 4 subscriber, love u. Sorry @ the subscribers that subbed after sub 14, u sadly do not get a dedicated chap, unless i decide for all the subs from 14 past to share the last chap but idk 
> 
> incase u like this mess, heres my twitter so u can get updates on all my fics, @coldersoup (previously artificialsalt). idk if i mentioned it before but ya know

Chan didn't think it would come to this. Hesitantly, he opened his computer, typing in the search bar 'tumblr'. Now while the place was usually known for being the home of many cringey things, Chan was there for one reason and one reason only.  
  
Russian Cat Memes.  
  
Huddled in a blanket at 2:00 AM, Chan typed in his password and username. Holding his breath as he waited for it to see if he properly remembered his login information. Chan was in.  
  
Clicking his own blog he scrolled through the reblogs. There they were in all their glory. Russian Cat Memes. All the ones he was able to get his hands on in one place. Truly what god intended.  
  
Chan highlighted a Russian sentence, copying it. He pasted it into Google Translate. Not the best way to learn but the only way he could. With his headphones plugged in, he pressed the volume icon.  
  
"полосатая колбаса," the robotic voice said, lacking any and all emotion.  
  
Chan whispered it to himself, writing down a quick version of it in english letters. The other members might not question it if they found it then. Aside from Felix, but Chan would stay far away from him.  
  
"polosataya kolbasa" (полосатая колбаса) - striped sausage

He had much to learn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its short but i dont rlly care atm its a crackfic n its like 9:30pm rn n im stuck in a car


	6. пожалуйста, воздержитесь

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for not updating any of my fics in like a week )):. School starts up soon and it's just been bringing me down, I already feel super unmotivated and sad. I have a week left so I'd like to finish this fic up in that time so I can focus on the camboy AU and hopefully start another thing that I've had planned for ages :))) 
> 
> ...
> 
> If school lets me do that :(((
> 
> EDIT: FORHOT 2 SAY @ 5TH PERSON WHO SUBBED I LVOE U THANKS WHYD U DO IT TJO??

Chan had been using Google Translate for a while. His Russian was shit because google translate is shit but that didn't matter. What did matter, was how he put it to use. 

Some days he didn't speak it much except for the occasional 'good job' or 'hi'. It really threw the others off, in a way, making Chan feel powerful. The confused sideways glances and stutters in a dance were enough to make Chan feel as if he was slowly taking over.

No longer did he fear Felix's laugh, instead he huffed out a "stop it" or something along those lines. Felix would stiffen, taken back but the foreign language. Sometimes he'd ask what Chan had said but cut himself off with a headshake and leave. Power practically coursed through Chan's viens at these moments.

He didn't use it much with the other members as it was becoming a bit different for them to find new vines. So often Chan was unphased by the classic "this bitch empty" or "two bros". However Jeongin had taken to watching his own vine compilations without Felix's guidance in English pronunciation.

One pretty normal evening in the dorm, Chan stood at the stove making yet again another box of his god forsaken Mac & Cheese. This time they were Star Wars themed rather than his prefered SpongeBob. The water boiled as he cooked the shaped noodles, Chan was just intently watching. Nothing interesting was happening as most members were doing there own things. 

But in a house with nine teenagers, someone was always unoccupied. That someone was currently Jeongin, who wandered into the kitchen. As usual, he was bright and smiling. Chan could feel it, the little shit was about to quote a vine. He turned to stop it before it could happen but it was too late. Jeongin beamed, 

"You are my dad! You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!" 

"пожалуйста, воздержитесь," Chan spoke, devoid of hope.

"Oh..." Jeongin stumbled back a few steps, surprised by the strange language, "Um, just call me when the Mac & Cheese is done."

He backed out of the kitchen, leaving Chan to drain the noodles. Powerful, he felt powerful. Smirking as the water drained, Chan finished up the Mac & Cheese. That night at dinner, Jeongin didn't look him in the eye, spooked over what had happened.

Chan was powerful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> пожалуйста, воздержитесь = please refrain


	7. хорошо, этого достаточно

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> хорошо, этого достаточно = okay, that's enough
> 
> @ 6th sub love u :((( stop losing ur brain cells by subbing tjo :(((

Minho had taken over the living room, sitting intently on the couch binge watching episodes of Naruto. Normally Chan wouldn't have minded but today Minho had the volume quite loud and was on his fourth bowl of ramen. Which definitely was not healthy. Chan wasn't sure how many episodes had pasted yet they were still in the same fight...

Chan sighed heavily as he watched from the entrance way. Jisung bumped into him with a bowl of popcorn, muttered a sorry before slipping by. Chan watched as Jisung took a spot next to Minho, sharing the popcorn. Not even a minute later was the popcorn forgotten and the two holding hands.

Would've been romantic if they weren't watching Naruto...

Jisung cuddled closer, resting his head on Minho's shoulder. Admittedly, it was absolutely adorable, but Chan would rather watch them bond over something other than a filler anime. Chan would rather have them watch anything else, just not /Naruto/.

So Chan interrupted it.

"хорошо, этого достаточно," he stood in front of the TV.

Both boys jumped away obviously embarrassed. Minho slicking his hair back, trying to act cool and Jisung brushing himself off looking away to the side. Though there was fear in both their eyes from Chan's strange language.

"Chan," Minho whined, "I'm watching Naruto."

"хорошо, этого достаточно," Chan repeated, "No more Naruto, please."

Minho sighed, clicking out of the show, but not without quoting a vine...

"If they have an anime profile picture then do not trust them unless its Naruto because Naruto is not an anime, it is art," Minho pouted, "And Chan, you have an anime profile picture!"

Chan does not have an anime profile picture though...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not relating to this but... im gonna vore felix
> 
> Jkjk but one day im gonna hold that fucker's hand... hopefully :/// can fansigns in other countries be a thing???? please??? i wanna meet my sons pls, all 16 of them n all 6 of my daughters


	8. Sabra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where were the past 2 days chapters??? Idk man. Actually, I played the entirety of Detroit: Become Human in 2 days, it was wild.
> 
> Bryan DeChart/Conner is my son now too, Hank is also legally my dad now
> 
> Dedicated to 7th sub, love u <3

Chan stood at the kitchen, yet again making his beloved Mac & Cheese. Being the absolutely spicy boy he is, he decided to switch it up this time.

Pokemon Mac & Cheese.

Hell yeah.

Having become practically the god damn Mac & Cheese God™, he didn't even need to look at the boxes for the directions. But he liked them their for moral support during these difficult times. In the living room he could hear the other members watching vines. It fades into the background.

He was occupied by the cheesy deliciousness of Mac & Cheese. Mixing in the powdered cheese, milk and butter into the drained noodles, Chan snorted, he could imagine was Jisung might say if he were here right now.

_"Sabra gives you all your daily nutrients, like 0 grams of Transfat and Oh My God Cholesterol."_

Fuck.

Chan panicked, trying to dump all the Mac & Cheese into a huge bowl so he could eat his regret and sorrows. Sitting alone at the table he shoved the Pokemon themed Mac & Cheese into his mouth, holding back tears. It was delicious, but the other members constant vines were finally getting to him.

"Hello?" Woojin peaked into the kitchen.

Jesus Christ. That reminded Chan of the dumb water bottle vine. He swallowed, tears forming in his eyes.

"You okay?" Woojin asked, looking a little concerned.

" 'm fine, jus' hot," Chan mumbled and shoved more Mac & Cheese into his mouth, eyes watering from actual tears and the heat of the food.

"Wanna join us for some vines or something? You look a little lonely out here by yourself." Woojin took a seat next to him, "I'll gladly sit out here with you, truth is I'm a little tired of vines."

"Woojin..." Chan started to cry, tears running down his cheeks.

Chan hugged him tight, covering Woojin's shoulder with tears. Woojin was a little confused but hugged him back. Chan looked up at him with teary eyes, a happy smile across his face.

"You don't understand how important this is," Chan sobbed, "We can finally start to take back Stray Kids!"

"Um, okay?" Woojin just patted him on the back.

Chan could win.


	9. Well, When Life Gives You Lemons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely hate school, thanks for coming to my tedtalk ://
> 
> Dedicated @ 8th sub <3 hope ur doing well!!! 
> 
> я чувствую твою боль = I feel ur pain

Woojin was confused, why was Chan so insistent with him on learning Russian? Woojin wasn't necessarily against learning another language but...? When had a group ever gone to Russia?

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Woojin tapped his pencil on the table. Chan and him had bought work books to help them learn the language, Woojin currently working on his letters. A discarded bowl of Kraft Pokemon Mac & Cheese to the side of him, Chan was eating straight out of the pot...

"I'll be right back," Chan declared, pushing aside his work book.

"Okay," Woojin nodded absentmindedly.

He watched Chan get up and leave for the bathroom. Coming in right after him was Seungmin and Hyunjin obviously up to something. Seungmin pulling out a box of cereal with "Life" written in sharpie across the front over the original logo. Hyunjin had a camera ready as Seungmin poured the cereal into a bowl.

It was full of lemons...?

"Well, when life gives you lemons!" Seungmin said.

When? How? Why? What?

Woojin had so many questions, but was deemed utterly speechless. Both boys laughs as they put all the lemons into the box again. Seungmin putting it back into the cabinet. This is what Chan probably saw on a daily basis.

Hyunjin and Seungmin left as Chan returned.

"я чувствую твою боль," was all Woojin said.

"Did they quote a vine?" Chan asked.

Woojin just nodded, a lost look in his eyes as he stared off into the distance.


	10. Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu changbin x felix fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chan's Russian = what the hell

Cuddling up on in Chan's and Changbin's shared room, Felix sat on Changbin's lap. Sure, he was taller than Changbin but sometimes it was nice to feel small and cute. Changbin smelled of boyish cologne too, not too strong or of axe, just light and pleasant. It was relaxing, Felix sighed contently.  
  
He wasn't really paying attention to whatever Changbin was doing on the computer, rather just lost in his thoughts. Changbin's head rested on his shoulder, he was clicking away on whatever he was doing.   
  
Felix missed this sort of silence, now any silence was washed away by the rest of the group repeating vines. Sure, it didn't bug Felix, after all he taught them, but he loved these quiet moments alone with Changbin. Felix burrowed deeper into Changbin's chest. He felt peaceful for the first time in a while.  
  
"Changbin?" he whispered softly.  
  
"Yeah?" Changbin answered with the same soft tone.  
  
"Kiss?" Felix blushed heavily as he tapped his cheek.  
  
Changbin placed a gentle kiss to his cheek, soft and sweet. Felix held back a squeak, embarrassed yet happy.   
  
"Again?" he asked even softer and quieter.  
  
Changbin kissed his other cheek, Felix an absolute lovestruck, teenage mess in his lap. Changbin had been able to feel the heat of his cheeks against his lips. He found it quite endearing, hugging the boy around his waist.  
  
"Can I have a real kiss now?" Felix asked once more.  
  
"Real one?"   
  
"Yeah..." Felix said the next bit much quieter, "Like on the lips..."  
  
Changbin was absolutely lovestruck, Felix was the cutest thing in existence squirming awkwardly and inpatiently. With a little bit of effort and forehead bumps, they were able to get Felix turned around on the chair facing Changbin. Felix's legs were awkwardly stuck in the space between the arm and seat of the office chair, but somehow they managed.   
  
Now that Felix was this close to Changbin he wanted to turn back, cheeks flushed up and staring Changbin in the eyes. Sure, he saw Changbin everyday, but not up this close or about to kiss him. The fuck was he supposed to do? Where did his hands go? Why was he so awkward and sweaty? Why was Changbin so cute with that hat on? Why was Changbin so cute in general?  
  
Changbin smiled slightly, taking in Felix's appearance; his pretty eyes, fluffy looking blonde hair, all his cute freckles. Cute. Felix was really cute. He was definitely more prepared for this than Felix was. One hand resting on Felix's back as support so he wouldn't fall back, the other on the back of his neck to bring him closer.   
  
Eventually, Felix took off Changbin's hat, unsure and nervous if it would accidentally hit him or something. And definitely not to stall some time or anything. He dropped it to the floor unsure what else to do with it. Struggling, Felix decided to go with something he'd seen in a few movies before, cupping Changbin's cheeks.  
  
Changbin pulled Felix close to kiss him, but Felix didn't tilt his head at all causing their noses to accidentally collide together. Embarrassed, Felix pulled away quickly and hid his face in Changbin's neck. Changbin laughed while trying to console the boy.  
  
"You've gotta tilt your head a bit," Changbin said between giggles.  
  
"I know that now," Felix mumbled, his ears even red with embarrassment.  
  
"Let's try again," Changbin tried to keep a more serious composure to not further humiliate Felix.  
  
Changbin helped the boy find proper places for his hands. One of Felix's hands cupping Changbin's cheek and the other loosely around his neck. Felix looked determined, nodding his head before closing his eyes. Changbin held back another giggle, he looked so tense.   
  
Letting his own eyes close, Changbin pulled him closer avoiding any nose bumps and kissed Felix. Soft and sweet, only lasting a few seconds, he could Felix release some of his tension though. Changbin wouldn't mind kissing him longer and more often, Felix was absolutely adorable.  
  
Felix's lips were surprisingly soft, especially with the chapstick he still had on. Changbin licked his lips, they tasted faintly of Coke. Felix had a small collection of soda flavoured chapsticks, the coke one being his favourite. Changbin saw him with it all the time, pulling it out of his pocket or bag at practice or when out and about.  
  
"Again?" Felix asked hopefully.  
  
"You're absolutely adorable, you know that?" Changbin chuckled before taking Felix by surprise and kissing him again.  
  
Felix's hands dropped from Changbin's cheeks and instead took place around his neck, loosely hugging him. They waited longer to pull away that time, Felix wanting to remember every moment of this.  
  
"Just one more time?" Felix smiled cutely.  
  
"One more," Changbin agreed.  
  
This time when Changbin pulled Felix closer they were together for barely a moment.  
  
"Hey, Changbin, dinner's—oh, какого черта!" Chan cursed, closing the door.  
  
Felix lept of Changbin's lap, falling roughly to the ground on his butt. Changbin stuttering and trying to come up with an excuse but Chan was already gone. Felix collected himself up off the floor with some help from Changbin, picking up Changbin's hat too.  
  
"Let's go eat," Felix mumbled and placed the hat on Changbin's head, obviously flustered.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Both boys left the room embarrassed. Dinner was tense between them and Chan. Mostly they pushed their food around on their plates, not talking or eating. Chan wasn't against them having a relationship (the feelings between both boys were so plainly obvious) he just didn't expect to see them doing that. They should've locked the door or something.  
  
The other members talked happily amongst themselves. Secretly, beneath the table Changbin's and Felix's hands were laced, no one bothered to point out Changbin was eating with his non dominant hand or that his hat was crooked. Chan knew though, he knew very well, watching him try and fail to pick up any food. He could see the way Changbin's hat was put on slightly tilted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in the hospital for a few days, almost had to get my appendix removed. I'm ok now tho :)
> 
> Also changed my @ on twitter to "coldersoup" to try and keep things similar to my ao3


	11. Still Garbage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated @ 9th sub, cuz chapter 10 was dedicated to myself cos im sad lol
> 
> also changbin n felix r lovestruck dorks uwu they kiss :(

After Chan had walked in on Changbin and Felix kissing he made sure to knock on every door before he entered a room, especially his own room that he shared with Changbin. Often they were just cuddling but every once in a while there was a little swearing and "Just a seconds!"'s. Which was most likely the two trying not make it look as if they hadn't been kissing two seconds before. They were always tell tale signs, Felix was blushing and Changbin gave only short answers, they stood farther apart, Felix was fiddling with his hands. Chan tried to act like he had no one what was most definitely happened but the awkward aura in the room was strong.

Sometimes knocking escaped his mind though, if he was focused or carrying something with both hands. So far this hadn't gone wrong yet, that was keeping Chan in a better mood.

However,  there was one thing that could put Chan is a bad mood. He wasn't against Felix's and Changbin's relationships, but they spent so much time in that room together. With the room only being shared by Chan and Changbin it was the bedroom with the most privacy. Something Chan wanted as much as Changbin but for different reasons. Changbin wanted it for obvious alone time with Felix, but Chan just needed a place to be away from the chaotic mess of vines.

Often Chan invited Woojin into the room so they both could escape. That may have given off the wrong impression on Changbin, thinking maybe the two were also a couple. But they weren't! Chan definitely had no feelings for Woojin! He didn't find his giggles and laughs cute, or his smiles or his pretty voice, or... Okay, so he had a little thing for Woojin, but mostly they used the room to block out listening to the other members quote vines.

But often Changbin claimed the room before Chan could, leaving him with the mess of teenagers speaking fluent vine. Woojin wasn't as affected by vines as Chan was, but he definitely felt his pain.   
  
Back to Chan forgetting to knock. He opened the bathroom door which wasn't locked, assuming no one else was in there. He was wrong.   
  
Hyunjin sat in the bathtub, bubbles absolutely everywhere. Covered in bubbles, Hyunjin was also surprised by Chan's entrance, could've sworn he locked the door.

However without missing a beat, Hyunjin's first instinct was to quote a vine so he did.

"Oh, hi, thanks for checking in. I'm still a piece of garbage!" he said in a sing song like voice.

Chan didn't say anything, backing out and closing the door. Mentally he cursed at himself for not knocking but part of him also knew Hyunjin should've locked the door so it was mostly his fault. Chan took a deep breath, regaining himself before heading back to his room.

Also a big mistake.

He didn't knock this time either. Flinging his door open right on Felix and Changbin being a sappy couple. Changbin peppering kisses across all of Felix's freckles, Felix giggling softly. Admittedly cute, but not at this moment.

Without thought Chan loudly cursed,

"Fuck!"

Chan shut the door. It was followed by a dull thud probably Felix shoving himself away from Changbin and falling to the floor. Chan flung open the door to Woojin's shared room with Jeongin, Minho and Felix. Thankfully, Woojin was the only one in there.

Chan fell against Woojin's bed, "Comfort me please," he mumbled into the sheets, "I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this vine nonsense."

Woojin stroked Chan's hair in attempt to comfort him, "It'll be alright," he said softly.

"I'm gonna take a nap here if you don't mind," Chan huffed.

"Go ahead."

Chan took another deep breath before trying to relax, letting the tension in his body go as Woojin pet his hair. He'll have to ask Felix to actually stop this vine bullshit again. But he'll put that off for tomorrow. 


	12. Barbecue Sauce On My Tiddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for 10th sub uwu
> 
> Also maybe later might upload a changlix one shot so look out for that if u want

It had been the one vine that started it all.  
  
It had always been Jisung's favourite vine, ever since day one. If he was in a bad mood someone woukd start to quote the vine and it would never fail to make at least a small smile appear across his lips. Minho found this absolutely adorable, the others could often hear him whisper it to Jisung at random times.  
  
At dinner they could hear Jisung suppressing giggles and almost choking on his food. During stressful practice days a small, barely noticeable smile would spread across his face. Before concerts Jisung was reduced to a giggling mess on the floor. Minho adored it.   
  
But today Minho wasn't around, off doing things with his friends outside of Stray Kids. It left Jisung pouting alone at home, there was no one to watch Naruto with or the new season of Boku No Hero. No one to make him smile with that specific vine.

And what kind of monster would Chan be to deny this boy happiness? After a little bit of convincing from Woojin, Chan swallowed down his hatred for the seven second vines. Jisung was sitting on the couch, he was sadly watching Naruto reruns airing on TV. Chan took a seat next to him.

"You okay?" Chan asked.

Jisung shook his head.

"What's up?"   
  
"I know it's nice to have friends outside of the group but I'm kind of jealous. I like having Minho around, I don't like having to, like, you know, share him..." Jisung admitted.

"I'm sure Minho wouldn't want you to be upset though," Chan tried his best to comfort the pouting boy, "You have friends outside the group, I bet Minho feels the same way when you hang out with them."

"I guess..." 

"You know, I'll only say this once, so listen carefully..." Chan took a deep breath, "So I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies."

Jisung giggled a bit, a soft yet still sad smile.   
  
"Stop that," Jisung tried his hardest not to smile.

"Oh, I know it's your favourite. C'mon, we have some left over ice cream in the freezer, I'll watch Naruto reruns with you," Chan smiled softly.

"Yeah, okay, let's do that," Jisung mumbled quietly, "and thank you, Chan..."

"No problem," Chan ruffled his hair.

On his way to the kitchen, Chan was stopped by Woojin.   
  
"Thanks for that," Woojin smiled.   
  
"He's like my son, what am I gonna do? Say no?" Chan said pulling out a container of ice cream.

"Well, your hatred towards vines is blatantly obvious, so thanks for swallowing your pride to make your 'son' happy," Woojin did finger quotations with the word 'son'.

"He's your son too," Chan said before leaving the room with two ice cream tubs and spoons in hand.


	13. Bitch,,,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically, ALL of Stray Kids count as Gen Z. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
> 
> Dedicated to all my subs as this is the last chapter involving vines :((( love u guys, thanks for joining me for this mess.
> 
> Also the changbin x felix oneshot isn't gna come out for a while ive been feeling terrible lately :\ school drains a lot out of you

Seungmin sat at the table, eating a jello cup, strawberry favoured. Nothing really out of the unusual except he had already eaten like twelve jello cups today. Chan was concerned, every time he head back into the kitchen there was another empty cup and Seungmin sat eating another.

This could not be healthy.

However, like everything that went on in this household, he tried to ignore it. What else was there to do? Ask him if he was okay? Chan had a feeling he might be waiting to quote a vine, so he decided it'd be better not to ask.

Until Seungmin started a pyramid stack of empty jello cups. Chan was genuinely more concerned that he was before. Why'd they own this much jello, where was he getting it from, why was he not sick yet? Chan felt queasy looking at the empty cups. But concern and curiosity was eating away at him.

"Don't you think you've had enough jello cups?" Chan asked.

"Blocked and reported," Seungmin said, shoving more jello into his mouth, "You can never have enough jello."

Ah, Chan sighed softly. He was used to the kids saying "blocked and reported" to anything they didn't agree with. Of course, Seungmin would respond with that vine.

  
  
After the little Jello Cup scenario, Chan suggested Seungmin get actual food or something other than jello. Jisung, who was laying around on the couch, jumped up at the idea of food. Insisting Chan take him to McDonald's, and who was Chan to deny his son some McDonald's. So after Jisung practically begging on the floor for Seungmin to eat real food, they piled into the car.   
  
The drive thru was much too crowded so Chan parked and they ordered inside instead. Seungmin whining a bit that they didn't serve jello. Jisung waited patiently in line, Chan already had put in his order and Seungmin listing off the things he wanted.  
  
Jisung, on the other hand, was not prepared at all. He hadn't actually thought he'd get this far. What was he supposed to order? The menu was swimming through his head, all the endless possibilities. There was too much power.

Seungmin finished his order, Jisung panicking on the inside. He wasn't prepared at all, it was like a school presentation that he hadn't done and was now forced to present to the class.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"No," Jisung said quick and simple, yet his mind buzzing with regret. His mind completely giving up on him, he quoted in full English, "I mean, fuck, uh... What up, I'm Jared, I'm nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read. So, like, I can't order sorry, bye."

The worker looked confused as Jisung stiffly walked off, embarrassed. Joining Chan and Seungmin who were filling up their drinks.

"We need to leave," Jisung ushered, "I messed up, I can't ever show my face here again. Let's go somewhere else."

"What happened?" Chan asked, confused.

"I messed up, that's all but we need to go before I die."

Chan looked at Seungmin, who just shrugged. Taking there drinks and fast food, they headed to the car, Jisung's hood over his head and hands shoved into his sweatshirt pocket. He wanted to die.

"Y'all get, like, anything I can eat?" Jisung asked, despite his embarrassment he was still hungry.

"Uh, I've got some barbecue sauce for your tiddies," Seungmin placed a sauce packet in Jisung's out stretched hand.

"Chan, please go through the drive thru, I don't care how long the line is," Jisung whined.

 

Jisung sat on the couch with Minho, eating his remaining fries. In great detail, Jisung was explaining his unfortunate events at McDonald's. Extra hand motions and exaggerated descriptions in feeble attempt to impress Minho or something along those lines.

"We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed," Minho laughed after Jisung finished his story.

"Bruh, I'm never watching Naruto with you again," Jisung huffed, getting up.

"No, wait! I'm sorry! LET'S CUDDLE AND WATCH ONE PIECE," Minho pulled Jisung back down on the couch, trapping him in a hug.

"You are somewhat forgiven," Jisung crossed his arms, trying to hide an obvious smile from spreading across his face.

 

Jeongin decided he wanted to spend a bit more time with his "dads" Woojin and Chan, proposing they try and make dinner together. After some input from the other members, they settled on making mashed potatoes and steak. Jeongin was put in charge of the potatoes, in hind sight Chan and Woojin did not think this was a bad idea.

However, he seemed Jeongin lacked any cooking skills beyond cup noodles and midnight trips to the kitchen for cereal. And most of the time he was too impatient for the noodles to even cook properly, eating the half hard noodle and drinking practically boiling water.

No matter how many times Woojin tried and tried to teach him how to make the potatoes Jeongin was calling him over two seconds later because he got confused. They were literally those cheap packet mashed potatoes, you basically just add water.

"I have to restart my potatoes," Jeongin whined, staring sadly into the bowl of over watered packet mashed potatoes.   
  
"Okay, let's just try it with real potatoes then," Woojin sighed softly.

Needless to say, dinner ended up being made by just Chan and Woojin. 

However, it was enjoyed by all the members. Hyunjin excitedly taking place at the table before anyone else did.

"Hi, my names Chelsea, what's your favourite dinner food," he smirked, piling food on his plate.

"Is, is this really why you ran through the dorm to get here so quick?" Woojin asked, staring at him across the table.

"Maybe," Hyunjin giggled, pouring gravy over the mashed potatoes Woojin ended up making after Jeongin's failed attempts, "But I will say, it also looks really good!"

Didn't matter how much Woojin and Chan hated vines, it was always nice to have your work appreciated. Even if it's a bowl of half packet mashed potatoes and real mashed potatoes and some steak.

 

After dinner, Changbin and Felix were no where to be seen. Chan sighed softly, heading to his and Changbin's shared bedroom to tell them to leave and find some else to do. But instead of the usual couple-y things, Chan found the two sitting on Changbin's bed quoting vines back and forth at each other.

Peak Gen Z relationships.

"I love you bitch, I ain't never gonna stop loving you... bitch," Felix jokingly strummed a fake guitar as he quoted the vine.

"I'm lesbian," Changbin giggled.

"I thought you were American," Felix replied also a giggling mess.

Chan really would've hated to interrupt a moment like this. Even if it involved vines it still counted as romantic for Gen Z teens, right? He shouldn't ruin it, right? 


	14. Peak Gen Z Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h-hi its been a month
> 
> i still feel like shit uwu
> 
> And maybe I'm also sad cos I don't wanna end the fic... :(

Chan was supportive of any type of relationship. Gay, straight, lesbian, poly, all of that. It's like 20GayTeen, who isn't a little bit gay? But what he wasn't okay with was vines.

"Felix," Chan said, taking a deep breath.

Both Changbin and Felix jumped a bit, looking at the door, they hadn't realized Chan was there. They were literally playing spin the bottle with just the two of them, an empty cherry coke bottle which Chan literally witness Felix move the bottle to face Changbin without actually spinning it. This was just another one of their dumb excuses to explain why they could be caught giving each other small, little kisses on the cheek or mouth from time to time.   
  
A week prior, Chan witness them play truth ot dare, everything one would pick dare and say "I dare you to kiss me" and then it would repeat. A few days ago they would screech no homo before Felix kissed Changbin's cheek. And just yesterday, Changbin declared "100% homo" and that was his justification for kissing Felix right in front of the rest of them. Not like the others cared, it was painfully obvious the two had a thing for each other and it's not like the group hadn't caught Minho and Jisung using anime pick up lines on each other before.   
  
Nobody batted an eye at the couple, being supportive but annoyed they wouldn't admit to the group they had a thing. Again, they had seen weirder, the members occasionally had war flash backs to when Minho and Jisung learned to communicate through Naruto hand signs somehow. It was worse than the pick up lines. Truly, a dark time.

Anyways back to Chan.

"Y-Yeah?" Felix sputtered, hitting the empty bottle beneath the bed as if Chan hadn't seen it.

Chan sighed deeply, "Okay, Felix, the vines. I've asked before but now I'm willing to beg you to put an end to this. How do I stop you?" Chan looked as if he was on the verge of tears.

"Oh, um," Felix had been so focused on Changbin he'd forgotten about the mess he created, "I..."

He thought for a moment, perhaps his hand sneaking over to gently rest of Changbin's knee but no one saw or cared. Maybe except Changbin who placed his hand on Felix's, Chan was too concerned over how to stop the vines he didn't notice.   
  
"Denny's," Felix started slowly, "Yeah, Denny's, you know, the one where I ate too many comfort pancakes and threw up. 3 AM just like last time too, this Saturday."

Ah, Chan knew the Denny's. After the famous "Changlix" kiss, Felix couldn't stop thinking about it, he'd confided in Chan his feelings for Changbin. Worried over whether or not he liked him back and if Felix was getting his hopes too high (of course now, they were together so all went well).

So in the middle of the night Felix woke up Chan, sniffing and acting as if he hadn't just been crying. Saying he craved Denny's and Chan wasn't allowed to ask why he just want to take him there. Chan didn't question it until they sat at a table and Felix ordered three orders of pancakes solely for himself. Felix confessed to Chan how he felt towards Changbin while both crying and eating pancakes. Chan attempting to comfort him and slowing him down on his eating.

However, attempts were feeble, Felix ate too fast and ending up sitting in the booth seat with a small trash can in his lap. Throwing up the comfort pancakes, he attempted to order more for his now empty stomach. Chan didn't let him, insisting they head home and eat something lighter and drink some water. It was quite a mess...

 The whole ordeal became an inside joke afterwards and Felix cringed at the mention of the restaurant despite loving their food.

"Yeah," Chan said, suddenly trying to keep down giggles, Changbin looking a bit concerned and confused.

Felix broke into giggles too. It was nice, able to share something both enjoyed after a long while of constant rivalry. Something light hearted and soft, something perhaps the two missed sharing between them. Being both from Australia, the two always felt some little special bond. Though ruined when vines came around, maybe it was mending itself.

"See you there, Chan," Felix smiled softly.

"Good night, get some sleep you two, Woojin and I will take the couch, be as sappy as you want," Chan chuckled, closing the door behind himself.

"Wait, you and Woojin?" Felix called out, it was too late, Chan had already left.

 "I'm not surprised," Changbin shrugged, "They called themselves our dads once."

"Understandable, have a nice day, I really hate that thought," Felix said, "I have the terrible idea of them fucking or something..."

"Ew, gross," Changbin giggled, reaching beneath the bed for the discarded bottle.

They resumed their game, chatting quietly and giggling.


	15. The End™ RIP :(

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you know, there's always evil in the world

"Chan, hey, Chan," Felix whispered, shaking Chan from his dreams.

Chan had been sleeping, cuddling with Woojin underneath fluffy blankets. The weather starting to cool down, a few inches of snow covering the ground over the week. They had left the TV on, some weird show off of Adult Swim playing, Felix didn't know what it was nor did he care.   
  
"Hyung!" Felix whined, shaking Chan a bit hard.

"Felix? What the fuck?" Chan jolted awake, groggy and confused.   
  
"It's 3 AM, let's go to Denny's," Felix tugged on him a bit.

"Oh, fuck," Chan huffed out, upset at his past self for agreeing to such an ungodly time, "I'll wake Woojin, go start the car."

Felix nodded, dragging a half sleeping Changbin to the entrance of the dorm, helping him bundle up in a coat. Changbin didn't protest, glasses crooked on his face, hair a bit messy, and in an oversized, black One Punch Man t-shirt and red flannel pajama bottoms. Felix pulled down a hat over Changbin's messy hair, before bundling up himself. Changbin groaned to himself, squinting in the bright lights as he had to put his boots on himself.   
  
Changbin was having such good dreams, not that he remembered them, only knowing the happy feeling he had before he was rudely awoken by Felix's 2:50 AM alarm. Jolting out of what was the best sleep he probably had in months, he was cuddled into Felix's arms groaning and telling him to turn it off. Felix did so, only to drag him from the warm blankets to get him dressed and wake Chan.

Chan was also in the same situation as Changbin, but perhaps a little nicer. He too, had a wonderful rest until he was rudely woken up. Woojin was so soft and cute, having fallen asleep in the middle of changing the channel, his hand still held the remote. But Felix had rid of any tiredness left in him. And Chan wasn't going to suffer alone, taking Woojin into the car with him where Felix and Changbin waited.

Chan pulled out of the dorm, heading to the familiar Denny's a bit aways, a good 10 minute drive. The car ride was silent, everyone but Chan drifting back off into half asleep states and Chan was jealous. Huffing to himself as he turned on the radio to keep company. Some new Twice song softly filling the car, those girls must be exhausted, they need a break.   
  
Chan parked in the little parking lot of Denny's, the harsh light of the sign pouring in through the windows arousing the other three boys from sleep. Woojin yawned, mumbling something about how dumb of an idea this was. But in the end it'd be worth it, no more vines.

"Okay, Felix, we're here now what?" Chan asked, turning around to face Felix cuddled into a large jacket in the back seat.

"Buy me pancakes," Felix put simply.   
  
"Th-That's it?" Chan questioned, it couldn't be that easy.

"Yeah, just want some Denny's," Felix shrugged, "Enough for both me and Changbinnie."

"Reasonable, but why at 3 AM?"

"Dont want the other members... I... they can't know about me and Changbin yet," Felix mumbled, fiddling this his hands, cheeks heavily blushed.   
  
Chan looked to Woojin, absolutely fucking tired look across his face. These were the dumbest boys in the group, it was so painfully obvious they were a thing, but whatever. At least vines were gonna be gone.

"Okay, let's go in I'll get us all Denny's," Chan signed, turning the keys to stop the car.

So, four sleepy boys still in pajamas found themselves in a booth at Denny's. Changbin passed out on Felix's shoulder, mumbling something about pancakes and bacon which Felix just nodded to, saying he'll order for him. Woojin flipped through desserts but seemed to reason with himself that now is not the time for desserts. Chan settled on plain old waffles, he didn't have much of an appetite at such a time.

When the waiter arrived confused to the table of sleepy idols, Woojin's desire for desserts got the better of him, he ordered a chocolate shake enthusiastically. Felix getting two orders of chocolate pancakes with sides of bacon and Chan with his boring waffles. They arrived soon as they were one of only three groups of people at the restaurant. Changbin perked up a bit at the scent of food.

 "This is it?" Chan asked after they ate some, "This is really all it will take you to stop?"

"Well, yeah," Felix shrugged again, "If I stop them everyone probably will, someone new will pop up and maybe it'll be something you like and then that'll disappear and the entire circle starts again. I mean we could do rock, paper, scissors if that will make it more rewarding."

"Sure, what do I have to loose?" Chan nodded.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot," they said in unison, Felix throwing out rock and Chan scissors.   
  
"Maybe I have something to loose," Chan huffed with a chuckle, trying to bring humour into the quiet restaurant.   
  
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot."

Chan had paper, Felix doing rock again. They were tied, even if nothing really was at stake, kpop idols and this game were intense. Way too intense. Rock, paper, scissors decided every decision.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot."

Chan scissors, Felix paper. Chan won, perhaps on the inside he felt much too excited even if it still didn't feel much more rewarding.

"I win," Chan said, "Still doesn't feel like I really did anything but at least it's over."

"Let's play again then, I want another stack of pancakes," Felix acrossed his arms, puffing out his cheeks.

"Take mine," Changbin offered, sliding one leftover pancake to Felix, "I can't eat much and I only ask for love and affection in return."

"Cute," Felix laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"Gay," Changbin retorted, a hint of a smile across his cheeks and his voiced filled with a bit of laughter. 

"Bitch, you asked for it and I'll take my kisses back," Felix pouted.

"No, wait," Changbin whined, sudden change of heart.

The two continued to romantically (grossly) bicker back and forth, childishly poking fun at each other.

"Kids, am I right?" Chan chuckled.

"Chan, you're literally like two years older than them," Woojin pointed out, "You're still a kid."

"Damn, it really be like that."

"Also, rock, paper, scissors me, I want another milkshake and I don't wanna pay for it," Woojin challenged.

"Alright, if I win you have to pay for me next time we go to the movies," Chan challenged back.

"Deal," Woojin nodded, his eyes sharp with the intent of murder, he would win a free fucking milkshake.

Woojin used paper, Chan also paper... Woojin chose rock, Chan also chose rock... This went back and forth of a bit, the two getting increasingly frustrated. Eventually, Chan lost. Of course, his luck only runs so far and all his will power went to ending vines.

They spent a little more time in the diner, Woojin happily drinking away at another chocolate shake, Felix on his third order of pancakes, Changbin returning to some well deserved rest, and Chan deciding to order a shake for himself. They ended up spending a good few hours, just chatting and enjoying getting along after a few months of being at each others' throats. Vines really had been a serious matter. When the staff eventually kicked them out, it was around six as they pulled back into the dorm.

Chan opened the door of their housing, chuckling at a joke Felix told him. As soon as the door opened music flooded their ears. Not just any type of music.

Christmas music.

Dancing in the kitchen was Hyunjin, decorating and bopping to some song in an ugly Christmas sweater. It was admittedly adorable but... Christmas music... Chan wanted a bit more time to unwind from Thanksgiving, they shouldn't be decorating for Christmas yet. Chan just wanted peace.

"Oh hey guys!" Hyunjin beamed, "The dorm looked boring and I thought since it's December I should start decorating!"

God, please no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end :( hope u enjoyed this adventure of a fanfic <3, dedicated to all my subs and i hope ur christmases turn out great
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/coldersoup) for updates on fanfics and new ones!

**Author's Note:**

> leave comments and kudos or else i will actually die.


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